Migration is Beautiful
"Meet powerhouse artist/activist Favianna Rodriguez — a leading voice in the movement of artists raising awareness about U.S. immigration issues."
- I am OTHER
Harvest of Empire
The Untold Story of Latinos in America “We are all Americans of the New World, and our most dangerous enemies are not each other, but the great wall of ignorance between us.”
Juan González, Harvest of Empire
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"Meet powerhouse artist/activist Favianna Rodriguez — a leading voice in the movement of artists raising awareness about U.S. ...
Friday, July 29, 2011
To Joke or not to Joke
Humor is one of the joys of life and also a great stress reliever. But what topics are out of bounds? When does humor land you in hot water? Is life too serious to joke about anything?
If you're not a professional comedian stay away from the sensitive areas of race, culture, class, ethnicity, and handicaps. Call me boring, but is it really worth sounding like a racist a-hole for a few chuckles?
Switching gears to my serious topic. I'm talking about immigration policy with a family member. (I know. Bad idea.) When this family member says "The problem is that immigrants are draining the system!", and (as if that wasn't enough) "If we open the boarders ALL Mexicans will be up in the U.S.!"?
To put you in my shoes -- in the SAME room is my Mexican wife and my 6 year old Chicana daughter. I kid you not.
I had played this scene over and over in my head before I even realized that I could have made a joke out of it. I could have said "I know huh!? What should we do with them!?" "(insert cruel and unusual punishment up to and including genocide)" Now, if I did say that, the problem is that I don't think six-year-olds are good at understanding sarcasm and devil's advocate. I suppose I should have turned the whole situation into a teaching moment of how to use sarcasm in a humorous way and how to play devil's advocate.
My problem is -- when someone is offensive -- I'm not in a laughing mood anymore.
So what would you have said if you were me?
I've struggled with these questions and flip flopped on the answers my whole life. I've been guilty of attempting to make light of the way European-Americans talk vs African-Americans. Maybe some of you are upset at even the thought that I would dare to step into that controversial stereotyping. I have also been easily offended myself when a co-worker made a racist joke about refried beans. He even made the joke at work. wtf iwwsp (what the f is wrong with some people)
If you're not a professional comedian stay away from the sensitive areas of race, culture, class, ethnicity, and handicaps. Call me boring, but is it really worth sounding like a racist a-hole for a few chuckles?
Switching gears to my serious topic. I'm talking about immigration policy with a family member. (I know. Bad idea.) When this family member says "The problem is that immigrants are draining the system!", and (as if that wasn't enough) "If we open the boarders ALL Mexicans will be up in the U.S.!"?
To put you in my shoes -- in the SAME room is my Mexican wife and my 6 year old Chicana daughter. I kid you not.
I had played this scene over and over in my head before I even realized that I could have made a joke out of it. I could have said "I know huh!? What should we do with them!?" "(insert cruel and unusual punishment up to and including genocide)" Now, if I did say that, the problem is that I don't think six-year-olds are good at understanding sarcasm and devil's advocate. I suppose I should have turned the whole situation into a teaching moment of how to use sarcasm in a humorous way and how to play devil's advocate.
My problem is -- when someone is offensive -- I'm not in a laughing mood anymore.
So what would you have said if you were me?
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I'm with you--I can never think of the right comeback when I'm in the heat of the moment. When I've been in similar situations--like when I am at work in an all white rural community--I try to keep people guessing about whether or not I'm on their side or against them. I have to make closed-minded people trust me by keeping my mouth shut for a while. But then when I've gained some trust, I offer them tidbits of my real feelings and opinions. It is an exhausting game to play, but here's how I do it: I say things that are sarcastic, but with a straight face and normal tone of voice. Some comedians (Steven Wright, for example) are very skilled at it. Many people can never figure out whether I am a racist like them or if I am somehow making fun of them.
ReplyDeleteIn that vein, in the situation you described I might've said "Oh, no! ALL the Mexicans? I guess you'll have to give up your dream of making a living by picking seasonal fruit, or working in a meat-packing plant. You're right: they'll take all the good jobs!"
Finding a way to say the phrase "you're right" to a closed-minded person gives them enough satisfaction that they often stop arguing so heatedly, and slowly begin to process your point. I totally admit to manipulation. Gotta do what you gotta do to be non-threatening enough that people stop, reflect, and have a chance to thinking a little outside of their boxes.
Excellent advice Jen. We do need to show enough respect for the "haters" to give them a chance to change. I'm impatient though, I feel this is 2011. We have waited patiently long enough for the xenophobic to go away. When the xenophobia festers it turns into the next hate crime or Norway 2011 shooting.
ReplyDeleteYou are right, it can fester and turn violent. But that type of violence isn't limited to xenophobia. People turn violent towards their own kind, too. That type of violence, in any number, is too much; but most people never become as psychotic as that Norway madman, the perpetrators of 9/11, or the teen shooters at Columbine. Thankfully, those are rare occurrences. Most people are just full of fear of the unknown and just need to become familiar. And I guess when I talk about responses to xenophobia, I am thinking about how I talk to my teenaged students. I am not sure I would know how to approach an adult! I have a lot of patience with kids, but am not sure I could handle being so patient with someone older.
ReplyDeleteGood points Jen. We can understand when children are confused. And a child's "opinions" are likely influenced from their parents or peers. However, when an adult is closed minded and hateful - it's more than I can stand.
ReplyDelete